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Happy Mothers’ Day…

12 May

hurm…it’s been quite some time now since i last posted a ‘note’ here…ye lah..the last time was the time after sha’s arrival…jiwa yang dah kacau pun dah tenang kembali…tapi..air yang tenang  jangan disangka tiada buaya…hah…a lot has happened since she came into my life…a lot of changes….a lot of laughter…and of course…a lot of tears…speaking of tears…the reason why i can be ‘soo freee’ that i could blog is because of Rifdi…yeah…he’s at nani’s house…guess what..mama’s got another 4 days left, before mama starts work again…so today is like ‘a practice’ for him–back to the old routine of waking up early and off to nani’s place….with him around…i dun think i can blog, i would be either feeding him or watching playhouse Disney with him right now !!

Rifdi.

he’s groowwnnn uuppp sooo mmuucchh now…yeah…physically…he’s heavier than ever !! guess that explains why i keep on complaining on my back ache !! and yeah…he’s tall…quite tall for a 2 year old…that explains why people seems confused listening to his ‘baby talk’ (yeah…he could only say a few words…x bleh cakap terus lagi !!)…they thought he’s already 3 or 4..!! ahaks…and he’s becomes soo sensitive since sha’s arrival. yeah…i guess…emotional distress…the 1st 2 weeks were quite a tough one for him, and mama as well…he tried his very best to ignore the new lil ‘creature’ at home…avoided any contact with the ‘creature’…and would slap the ‘creature’ soft head when asked to give a kiss !! huh…can’t blame him tough..he’s soo used to the attention to himself, and suddenly he’s got to share it…he even has to sacrifice his ‘ndoi’ for his afternoon nap for his sister…and has got to learn to sleep on the toto instead !!

“rifdi kena belajaq tidoq bawah ok…ifdi beshaaqq dah lani…kena tidoq bawah tau !!”

(sebab adik nak kena masuk ndoi pulak !! sian dd…)

however…mama will never forget the very day…when he came to this lil ‘creature’…looked and observed…and then slowly rub his hand on ‘her’ head !! mama bet he’s finally accepted the fact that this is MY ADIK. yeah…my very own adik. and then slowly he kissed her bald head…and then blushed when he noticed that mama’s been observing him since just now !! =) ..and since then…he would kiss and touch sha’s head when he feels like doing it…and when sha cries…he will quickly look for he ‘puting’ and tries his very best to attch it to sha’s mouth !! ahaks…that’s the best thing a mama could wish for…a lil brother accepting his lil sister’s presence….

however…jelousy still exists in him…and mama understands, and can’t blame rifdi for being jelous !! when ever mama’s feeding sha, rifdi has got to WAIT. “tunggu sat k…mama bg sha minum…pas nih mama buat susu kat dd ok..!!”…”tunggu sat..mama bagi sha mandi..peh tu mama suap dd makan k…”….”tunggu sat dd…mama bagi sha tidoq dulu…tu mama mai boom boom ngan dd…”…sigh..a lot of ‘tunggu’s can make u depressed !! but mama’s helpless too !! mama’s got only mama’s self to handle the both of you…and while tunggu…a lot of tears have been wasted. yeah…i feel hurt, and i scolf myself whenever he cries while waiting for me to attend him. but i guess…by now he could accept the fact that he’s got to share his mama with someone else….his attention…his love…everything…

but not to worry dear !! your’e sharing it with your own adik…no more tears ok…please…no more tears…you’ll always be mama’s sweetheart….

Farisha.

Nur Farisha Binti Mohd Rezuan @ 3 days old.

yeah…named Nur Farisha Binti Mohd Rezuan. late by 10 days !! EDD was on the 8th of March…but arrived in the 18th of March 2010…!! what ever…as long as you came out safe and healthy…ALHAMDULILLAH….when she’s inside…mama kept on asking her to ‘come out’ quickly…but the 1st week after she came, mama prayed that she stayed ‘inside’..!!..yeah…the 1st 2 weeks was a tough one for me…i cried A LOT….tired..worned out..and yet i’ve to entertain ifdi and sha at the same time !! sha would just cry out at any time…and i’ve to attend to her..and at the same time ifdi would ‘glue’ himself to mama…asking for this and that…and guess who get’s the attention..? who gets the scolding..? yeah…you got it rite…attention goes to sha and scolding goes to dd…my mistake. yeap…mama’s mistake…mama should have attended dd…instead of scolding…and he would be very upset..very, very upset…

strangely…since birth…whenever he brother cries…sha would keep quiet. yeah…she would just keep quiet and her big round eyes would look directly to her brother. and when her brother stops…she’ll start crying !! huh….imgine yourself being in a nursery, packed with crying kids !!

sometimes at night…i would admit…i would feel soo jelous of those who’s got maid or bibik to loof after their baby at night so they could sleep soundly…without any disturbance…but when ever i feel that….a strong voice ‘inside’ of me would shout and say “hey !! that’s yourrr child !! it’s your responsibility, not some else’s !!”…yeah..i know that…but i”m tooooo tired and sleepy !! ..and the voice would shout back “your’e lucky to have this angel with you….so wake up now and pi buat susu for her !!”…huh….i would wake up, but still feeling jelous with those that do not have to wake up and ‘suffer’ sleepless nights like me !! huhuhuh…..but hey…when ever i look at sha’s ‘moon cake’ like face now…aku rasa puas dan bangga that i ‘raised’ her up on my own…yeah..she became quite an ‘apple’ now !!

Nur Farisha Binti Mohd Rezuan @ now !!

gurls are sooo much more matured that boys…yeah..you can tell it since birth…sha is quite matured for her age !! (she’s turning 2 months ole soon!)…she enjoys watching TV..enjoys playing with water (she would try to ‘stand’ up whenver she’s in her very own ‘bath tub’)…and likes to be dress up…ahah…yeah…guess that why mama’s treating her like mama’s very own barbie doll…hehehe…sensitive too…just like her brother !! you can see tears in her eyes when mama scolds her…(yeah..i know…i’m a bad, BAD mama!!)…yup…sha also get scolded for crying out for no reason…most of the time she would just cry, just to get some one to pick her up …she prefer to be in mama, abah, bapa or nani’s arm rather that lying down on the couch !! mama would just say “shaa…maauuu aapppaa lllaaggii nihhh…dahh minum susu…dah mandi…nangih lagi pasai paa…ammmbbooiiiiii nnii…”…and rifdi would support mama by shouting on top of his lungs !! …and sha…she would just cry..

there was once when i really shouted at her, right in front of her face, and her cried like she’s never cried before..!! i was quite surprised…for i thought (and i bet) that she wouldn’t understand the tone of my angry voice !! she cried and cried for almost half an hour…stop..and when she ‘looked’ (the nurse said that they can only see clearly by 3 months) at me…she would start crying again !! pheww….i felt guilty, whenever i hear her ‘sob’ in her sleep…tidoq pun bleh dok tersedu sedan…sian sha…and i can still remember ifdi’s shocked face hearing mama shouting at sha…and he ‘behaved’ very well for the rest of the day !! hahah…takut kena marah jugak la tu !!

guess…that was the climax of the whole ‘being a mama’ game…yeah…i am TIRED. WORNED OUT. with all the cryings, the sleepless nights…’runnings’ here and there…since i came back from the hospital…i did not get a good rest…not even a single day when i could lie flat relaxing in the day, or sleeping soundly without any disturbance at night !! so…when your’e too tired and stressed out…you don’t even care if your child is just a month old !! i guess that’s why some mother abuse their own children…!! NAAUUZUBILLAH…ALLAH…WITH YOU ALLAH….mintak simpang laa….

Farah.

the latest me…lepas pantang !!

yeah…kejap ja dah 2 bulan…everything’s under control now…my husband and i are getting use to this ‘new’ environment…yep. more NOISE than usual. and we’re also used to rifdi’s new tone of shouting that can cause your ears being ‘bengang’….ahahah…and we’re are also used to sha’s frequent ‘merengek’s…seeking our attention…some how…i have to thank my hubby…for being a lil bit helpful nowdays…i guess..he could ‘hear’ my shoutings and also ‘see’ that i’m dying of tiredness  !!

i never celebrated mothers’ day..i remembered helping mak make her speech for mothers’ day celebration for one of her clubs…and brought back a rose for her during my school days…and when i started working..i would buy mak a piece of low sugar or trans-fat free sugar cake…hehe..health cakes for diabetec patients…so…it’s a piece of carrot slice for ifdi, a piece of Chocolate Indulgance for mama and a piece of sugar free Blueberry Cake for mak on mothers’ day…

guess i’ve bloged too much now…dah banyak plaks nih…ifdi..sha…tiap2 malam sebelum tidoq..mama x lekang2 berdoa…semoga Allah panjangkan usia mama…bukan kerana mama x puas lagi enjoy…atau x puas lagi hidup…but it’s because of you…mama minta dipanjangkan usia…so that mama bleh jada ifdi ngan sha, sampai dewasa, or at least until you guys can stand on your own feet. i know how much you guys need me on your lives…and i’m trying, trust me, trying hard and my very best every day to become a good mother…please help me guys..help me to become a good, friendly and sporting mama to both of you…you guys are my love, my life and my destiny. with you guys around i now i understood my ‘presence’ here….without you guys i would be empty.

YOU GUYS COMPLETE ME.

1.53pm…my home.

 
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Posted by on May 12, 2010 in May 2010

 

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