…yeah…u must be wondering…what’s wrong..? well…i have to admit. a confession to make. there’s something seriously wrong with me now-a-days. and i just dunno what…i guess it’s my behavior…i get angry easily, i get sad easily, i’d get pissed off with people easily, stressed out easily…and yeah..show my tantrums easily sometimes !! seriously….what the hell is happening here..? can i blame it on the hormone changes…?
i used to be a happy go lucky person…cool at all times…couldn’t care less about other peeps…just go on with the flow…dun not get stressed out that easily…but now it’s like a totally new-different-ME. and i wonder why…? i realized that i’m more comfortable with my online friends, rather that the off-lined ones. am i loosing my social skills…? sometimes i feel like i just could not connect or engage with others. gulp. something is seriously not right here !!
sometimes i wonder…is it because of the environment…? I’m referring to my workplace. it’s a totally, NEW environment here..seriously, I’ve got to admit, i kinda lost all the excitements i use to have when i was working at my previous companies…even at the very-cold-blooded DELL. yeah…i even enjoyed working in DELL although its surrounded by Chinese…it’s like going back to school-yup, majority of my classmates are Chinese…so no problems with that. but here..uh..uh…i just dun know..there’s a few of us here, but i dun know, it’s not the same…i guess our status – married – also contributes to the difference here…but most of colleagues back in ACMS were also married and we had a jolly good time !! hurm…seriously…i kind of feel ’empty’ working here….office mates are merely COLLEAGUES, and i actually feel that i have very FEW FRIENDS here. yup…seriously. and i dunno why…i blame it on myself…i guess, i’m not good at making friends anymore…or maybe there’s no one here who has got the same ‘antenna’ like me… sigh…
sometimes i wonder…shud i go back to the industry…? shud i be working MORE..? overtimes..working on weekends..? i’d get excited when ever i meet my friends whose still working in the bank…i also get excited whenever i talk to my former colleagues in ACMS….yeah..i do..and that leaves me wondering and thinking, shud i actually go back there..? but i live my JOB here…i love being a lecturer…but i guess that’s the sacrifice i’ve got to make !! spend more times with students, and less time with colleagues..and this is what i get.
…………… u guys understand what i’m babbling here..? uh…if u dun, forget it.